What’s up?

I took a week off because I was too stressed and found it hard to concentrate on one thing at a time. I allowed myself to stay more leisure and flexible—with the content I consume, the food I eat, movement throughout the day, productivity, etc. I felt it was important to give myself a week of nothingness until I was curious to build something again.

Things seem to be getting back to normal. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by everything I do; that’s when I start doubting my abilities. Exactly in times like these I take a break and come back okay.

Now that I am here, let me walk you through some thoughts from the last week.

Why are you wasting your time?

I spend a lot of time on entertainment—like A LOT!

My mom thinks that’s all I do. My friends are surprised by the number of shows/movies I complete. Plus, different people think different things. But the most irritating question of all is: What good are movies?

I believe guilt-free entertainment is crucial. When you are ambitious and hustling all the time, you don’t really rest enough nor give your body, mind, and hobbies enough hours. Even if you do, you always feel you are wasting time and you could spend the same schedule more productively.

But in reality, I became more effective once I understood the key to functioning is the balance between hustle and hobbies. Maybe that’s why it irritates me when people say entertainment is a waste of time because without it, I might go insane. There are only a few hobbies I spend guilt-free: music, sports, movies, NERF guns—and I don’t want anyone saying I am wasting my time.

Does it matter?

Three days ago, I read an article that questions whether what you do in life matters. I read this first thing in the morning and it took me on a thinking spiral (read: crisis) for a few minutes.

There was a little turbulence for a few seconds, but I found my answer quickly.

Steve Jobs enrolled in a calligraphy course after he dropped out of Reed. He found learning typography interesting and that’s what he did—learned about different fonts and styles curiously. Did he think it would matter at that point? Maybe not. But did it add up? HELL YESSS.

In his words, “None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But 10 years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts.”

Another story I love is of Mike Cessario, founder of Liquid Death, a canned water company. He spent a decade in advertising doing the most unconventional ads—some even felt disgusting to most of his clients but they were crazy nonetheless. At that point, I am not sure if Mike thought writing witty, dark ads would matter ten years down the line.

But it did add up when he started his company, Liquid Death. Because today the brand’s popularity comes primarily from how it is packaged and its insanely fun, dark, and in many ways, rude voice.

Why share all these stories?

Am I afraid of my growth?

I like aiming high. I like to think I am the best and give 200% in everything I do. But when a big opportunity comes, I sometimes take the back seat. Not because it’s challenging but because I feel that I don’t deserve the growth—that I haven’t worked hard enough to have the opportunity I got.

I often ask, “Am I afraid of my own growth?” I don’t think a lot about it though. I just sleep and I’ll be fine the next morning.

Office?

I am starting to think if the office culture suits me better. Not the office office, but being around humans I can talk shop with. As much as I enjoy my solitude and the perks of remote work, I sometimes wonder if the grass is greener on the other side—if it’d be more fun and less stressful with people around you.

Maybe that’s why I love working from cafés with my friends. We have so much fun while getting work done. We talk about our projects, personal lives, discover new food places, give each other feedback, etc.